I haven't hardly posted anything worth something in a hot minute. I now have 2 idle domains and no creative juices for what to do with them, but hey, does that mean I might have finally caught a life? Or rather that I've become overworked and can't find time to do any of this web stuff worth talking about anymore. Whatever.

So anyhOo... I'm double dipping now, got my fulltime low-pay job that has benefits at the bank, and my high pay no benefits job at sprint. Common sense says that there's a reason I'm staying at the bank when I'm making almost twice that at sprint... when you have to go to the doctor once a week, you don't follow money cause that money will be gone after a couple of those doctor visits right?

Blah, I'm already out of stuff I feel like sharing on here...

Piece.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Rest in Peace Kevin

rest in peace mrs. parks.
i'll post a real entry on thoughts of her contributions later.

I'm sitting here feeling SOOOOOO sluggish and I really don't wanna go to work, but I must. I think I need to come to the realization that I've been away from dance basically five years and stop trying to act like I danced nonstop and I'm in tiptop shape, because evidentally I'm definitely not. Everything freakin' hurts.

OK now I need to stop procrastinating and get ready to go to work.

Just want to take a moment to remember 9-11-01.

I'm not gonna go into emotions and opinions about how things could or should or would have been, and not gonna go into how that was when i really got bold with my public opinions of how messed up our country is, but I just wanna take time to remember those who didn't make it.

My lil cousin that attends Xavier is currently in Houston and that's a blessing. I've seen maybe 2 articles about the situation at Xavier University but nobody's really saying the fact that there were (possibly are) some students still unaccounted for or trapped in dorm rooms from stuff blocking doors. I've only seen maybe 2 articles about the students from Dillard University who lost everything on a bus that caught on fire transporting them to a host school that they're gonna be sleeping in... luckily they're covered from (I think)Baton Rouge support. The fact of the matter is, people are waiting for freaking buses and food to rescue them and it's just an American version of the aftermath of the Tall Trees being cut from Hotel Rwanda. Tell me I'm wrong - They were waiting, had to drink the water from the pool to survive, looting, shooting... it's all parallel...

Anyway - I donated 5 cases of 24 pack water to the Red Cross. I don't want anybody to be like ooooooh that's so good - basically that's not shit compared to what people who have lost everything need. If I could, my narrow butt would be down there in some tall boots and snake repellant digging some trenches to get people unstuck and out of contaminated water, but alas I cannot. (army wouldn't take me for health reasons)

My philosophy on situations like this is simple: Don't talk about it, do something. We've arranged a special account to be set up at work for the red cross to help out, and we'll be asking for donations tomorrow since that's honestly the busiest day of the month in most banks (3rd of the month before a holiday weekend) and hopefully we'll get some positive stuff started and send some much needed funds down there.

Once again... Pray, or have hope or faith in something

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.


i need to stay at home one day.

I'm such a loser G.O.O.D Music fan... just had to run and get Kanye's cd at lunch. It is some hotness... at least track 3's beat is just... just... shoot i don't have an adjective to describe it right now.

I had this MAJOR stomach cramp an hour ago and couldn't even stand straight up.... that sucked royally.

Pain killers kicking in...

Many prayers to those affected by Katrina.

here we go.

i get angry/frustrated/bothered easily. this is new. i think it's the fact that i'm working at a job i don't exactly like and feel like the job is sometimes dumbing me down (the customers mainly). i'm ready to go ahead and get my education back on. seriously. i have a plan, just don't exactly know what i wanna do when i finish. as always.

blah i forgot what all i had planned to write on here...

adios.

a quicky.

I moved. I work in a bank. I'm single and peachy.

hasta!

I'm speechless.
so many thoughts going through my head, but i can't think of one thing i want to put on here.
I"m trying to change some things in my life, and trying to show my parents how I'm trying, but every two steps forward I make, they see me going three backwards and I don't get it.
I've cut off the majority of my friends, since I don't think they even still see me as a friend..

I just feel like I've been such a disappointment to everybody I've come in contact with over the past 5 1/2 years.

Regret sucks.
I read in a book my mom gave me that I need to stop thinking about the past so much and move forward, but she keeps taking me back to my mistakes, so everything is a contradiction and I just want to start having real success in my life for once. Every accomplishment that I've made since leaving high school has been turned around with four more failures... I just want that to end.

Even my relationships seem to be failures...

Aahh... I really don't want to be feeling the depressed way that I do on a daily basis, I know God doesn't want the depressed feelings, so why can't I change and be happy?

I'm moving back home *again*. I don't want to, and it depresses me even more now after the past three days that I was home, but I have to. I feel like every talent I was born with, I didn't use, and now I feel like I've lost them all...

Just want to start over...

since this is black history month, i feel it's time for me to go angry black girl for a moment and reflect on some things.

i live in richmond, va... in the city's southside. i supposedly live in a "good neighborhood" but i get mad as hell everytime i go out my front door because every single day, regardless of time, there is some black teenage boy sitting outside doing absolutely nothing. sadly, my cousin is included in this bunch, but he's a special case in itself. i don't get it. since mr. doug is city mayor now, he's trying to get all on the parents about truency and crap, but the stupid truancy officers are too busy harrassing me in wal-mart since i look young, than actually going in the neighborhoods pulling those kids sitting on a bike in the middle of the day into their schools. my whole thing is - a lot of people died for us to go to the same schools and whatnot, and these kids just want to make us all look like what the segregation supporters said in the beginning - that we're just some underachieving porch monkeys.

then there's ms. white chocolate at my job. this b has one more time to call me white girl before i tell her that "just because you had some black in you doesn't make you black." i see it coming everytime i walk in that door and she opens her ignorant mouth. just because i speak proper english, dress conservatively, don't have the typical richtown hairstyle (or shall i say, weave sitting on top of head), have well established parents, and speak 2 other languages fluently does not make me less black than her "black mixed with black as hell" boyfriend. i was even insulted with that comment when she said it. i wish to heck she'd tell my mommy (the uva integrater) that she has more black in her than my mom... omg that would just have me in a state of haaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaafuckinhaaaaaaaaa. lol
if she was a smart "i wanna be black white girl", she would at least know more about history than to just think that hip hop culture's bad side is what means to be black. i'm about to get off subject so i'll leave it alone one more time and come back to that in another post lol.

so basically, i'd like to give thanks to the people who died for me to attend my excellent public high school, to the people (like my mommy) that helped make it possible for me to attend the predominantly white state university that i attended, the brown vs. board of education case, people who are educated in america's history, and making the best out of our short month.


i'll be back to discuss native american history month in my crazy christy-like way :-D.


oooh i just realized the majority of my past posts i accidentally did as public.. oops.

I was talking to my best friend when i came to the realization that i might have never been in love with any of these cats runnin' around here with their stupid game. I think everybody I've ever talked to has been working out of the book of love and i've been in the video addition or something... just no common ground. I don't think I've ever "looked for love" and I don't even remember really trying to get anybody to like me other than the 1 from home that always considered me his little sister. but thats the past and i know we'll just be friends... probably til the end or some crap lol.

I saw Hitch last night. Great date/love movie... made me come to some realizations about my current situation... I don't know how to settle for somebody - lol i guess i never realllllly put down the player pass after all... other than that small mixup in technology that happened once but i digress.

Valentine's day sucked for me. It was more because I was mad about my job, so I didn't even bother calling anybody. wait - talked to Kenny *stupid gushy look*. They're currently in Europe and I'm jealous as heck, but proud of the boy... he's doing exactly what I wanted to do back in the day - utilize my talents and let God take me where he wanted me to be....

uh oh uh oh ahhhhhhhhh

of course, me being the impulse shopper that i am, i bought the Hitch soundtrack. It's excellent if you're one of those people that like ol' school soul and remakes of classic stevie songs. I highly recommend it with a rating of **** lol. I think I might incorporate some of my cornyass movie reviews on my new domain - I do need some content since I don't really want to blog on there..

speaking of shopping, I was utterly disrespected in Saks yesterday when I was on a mission to buy this stupid Burberry purse for my brother for my mom and the sales lady looked me up and down and then walked away. so I called bigbro and told him to take his money to tyson's galleria since stony point didn't seem to want that $600 sale... blah.. i wish i was her secret shopper.

still trying to be patient with the job hunt.
pray for me please...

adiosssssssss

i just bought a domain. i don't know what's gonna be on it yet. just wanted to have my own spot again i guess.

i've gotten a few callbacks from jobs but not from the one i want, so following the advice of a lot of real friends, i'm going to not jump at the first offer. it's not like i don't have a job and some welloff parents anyway...

chesterfield's been pretty cool since i've been over there... i don't like the fact that my store is all isolated from the rest of the mall, but it makes it pretty decent as far as how busy we are. oh yeah, i decided to stay there after the demotion because 1. i didn't think it would be copasetic to work with the associates that i've been their boss for the past 6+ months, and 2. i didn't trust the heffas in the management team there. i don't know how i feel about the company anymore, there's just this thing i don't like how the people that work for it are expected to give this warning, but the company can't give any warning to the associates. i don't know if i make any sense with that but anyway.

valentine's day is coming up... and i got whatshisface a woodstock doll and a peanut's calendar... cheap, i know.

there's this manager at chesterfield that calls me "white girl" and says she's "blacker than me." i'm sorry but that shit makes me mad. how can a white girl tell me what it means to be black? i think that'll be an entry for another day...

i missed the concert... after all of that worrying over how to get out of work to go, i actually got reallllly sick and couldn't go to work or the stupid concert. best believe when they come back with A. Keys, i'll be front and center...

so today was the day. it's official... they finally got the balls to tell me that i am no longer a manager.

i wish they would have just fired me.

and to think i'm probably the only manager that actually did everything by the stupid book... and the only one who actually met sales goals... but that goes to show that being the only one in the right doesn't get you farther in life.....

i freakin hate people.

and they were slick too... i can't even go out with a bang like i thought i'd be able to... they terminated me back down to associate as of sunday morning.

and whoever the L is the private caller on my cell phone needs to leave me the L alone.

ciara can't sing.

but tyra (from va) can... somebody just give her a better song...

she might even be cuter than ciarra... as in a better look i don't know.


yup. i'm a hater.

i need a job.

anybody in richmond have any leads, let me know...

bump that... anywhere in richmond or raliegh/durham have any leads, let me know...

i probably will go home anyway... my parents miss me and i don't like these people in richmond.

*raises 3rd finger to new york and company* so much for treating current employees decently...

i seriously hate conniving little sneaky gossiping trifeling backstabbing b!tches and don't want to be associated with their drama.

therefore, i wanna go out with a bang... gonna call out sick the whole last week that i'll be scheduled to work... that'll be the bomb.